12 february

saw dr.puttler again, second time since hospitalization. i'm still bleeding a little (he calls it "oozing"), but he said it's healing up as expected. such "estrogen sensitive" tissues are really slow to heal without any estrogen! he wants to see me in 2 more weeks & then he'll say if i can begin chemo. the wound has to be completely healed first, since during chemo wounds just don't heal.

i have already had a consultation with the herbalist who was recommended to me, michael broffman at pine street, & have received his prescription for herbal support of the chemo. it's his specialty, & many cancer patients up here have used him as a resource. i'm feeling much better about undertaking chemo with this kind of help.

and i've cut my hair! the advice is to cut it really short before you begin, so when it starts to fall out, the shock isn't so great. glad to still have some hair rite now, it's been cold cold cold.

BUT now that i've decided, i'm ready to get it started, to get it over with! it's very important to me to be in shape to handle having roxanne here next summer.

but no. more waiting. OK. there ARE many things still on my to-do list. i'm assuming not much will get done during treatment, or less than usual i should say. never very good at getting things done, except gardening. so this is a useful sortof deadline (i always wrote my papers the nite before they were due)!

26 february

went back to see dr.puttler so he could look up inside me & tell me if the healing had happened, but he said no, it's not ready yet. so he'll check again in another 2 weeks. i had not had any spotting for many days & was hoping to get the go ahead, but no, still on hold. i looked at my calendar & realized spring's almost here & am embracing the delay, i think spring's the perfect time for beginning chemo! ride the tide of planetary energy!

have been getting a kick out of the new haircut...

12 march

dr.puttler said still not 100%, but he gave his OK anyway, cos i already had a provisional date to begin on 25 march, & it'll be fine by then. the weekend of vernal equinox i'll be off with the eVc ladies, a great last fling...